歷經了多次的掙扎和猶豫,左右搖擺不定的我終於下定決心了要休學.為了讓自己不要後悔我退掉了所有的選課.這個決定還沒有幾個人知道.很慶幸自己有個開明的父母親 ,雖然他們百般地勸我不要放棄好不容易考上的研究所,但他們最後還是尊重我的決定.知情的朋友聽到這個消息也是搞不懂我為甚麼要休學,他們覺得我好像天堂有路不走地獄無門卻要闖進去一樣.的確在近年來經濟蕭條不景氣的情況下,放著有前途的英語教學研究所(至少餓不死)不唸,跑去休學當兵,更嚴重的是以後要做甚麼也還不清楚.的確我現在也不敢說我的決定是正確的,記得以前下定決心要學BASS時,曾每天苦練一兩個小時,也決心要讓那些唱衰我的人對我刮目相看,但仍不敵有著虎頭蛇尾劣根性的自我,最後也是把那把bass塵封起來,現在它就放在我衣櫥旁的角落彷彿是在嘲笑我的三分鐘熱度.其實這樣的情形也不是第一次發生了,我爸就常跟我說我小時後就是這個樣子,每次看到新奇的東西,總是喜歡跟人參一腳,然後很快就玩膩了就把它丟一旁去看有沒有其他有趣的東西. 打籃球也一樣,學畫畫也一樣,搞社團也一樣,想學跳舞也一樣,學鋼琴也一樣,學跆拳道也一樣,我甚麼都沾一點卻甚麼都學不會.但這一次不太一樣,沒有像以前一樣有莫名其妙的傻勁告訴我自己可以實踐我的想法,這次的決定我完全的渾沌,沒有成立的理由,也沒有主要的原因. 說我是逃避做研究的壓力也好,說我人在福中不知福也好,說我是自斷生路也好,唯一我可以確定的是我已經沒有回頭的路了,也沒有後悔的權利,未來要做甚麼我不知道,我想路一定不比讀研究所好走,但至少我已經在路上了!
(above photos from jj959.com and thoughtsdigest.com)
(above photos from jj959.com and thoughtsdigest.com)
2 則留言:
I've been keeping an eye on your blog for a couple of weeks. I like your blog -- it's a good place to wander around. It would be such a pity if you're not gonna update your blog in future. My life's changed quite a lot since December last year. I'd been through so much confusion and depression, then I realised, for a matured person, once a decision is made, nothing should hold it back. There are ways to your destination. Good luck!
hello, I am very thrilling to find that there is someone viewing my blog! I really appreciate your suggestion and comments. Don't worry, Ellen, I will keep updating my blog even though i have the military obligation for one year in the near future. Anyway, thanks for your support. Hope we could go through the difficulties in the life. Good luck to you.
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